Mowing the Lawn

Is news really so hard to come by that people are talking about Mitt Romney using the word "zany" to describe Newt Gingrich?  You'd think Mitt Romney was caught on tape spouting an expletive while smoking a cigarette made by illegal immigrants. What's next? A flibbertigibbet? A will-o'-the-wisp? A clown? Apparently, the "z" word is strictly off limits in political discourse and worth devoted coverage when it breaks the lips of a politician.  The Los Angeles Times noted that Romney "lobbed some rhetorical grenades" by using the word.  "With lines like this, just think about what Mitt Romney has saved for Thursday night's debate." The Daily Mail called the comment Romney's "most personal assault yet on Newt Gingrich." ABC News characterized Romney's new word as "the latest in a string of attacks" and Ed Rogers, who writes as one of "The Insiders" for the Washington Post, reasons ...

A comment I hear every now and again is that no one responsible for the collapse of our economy or the mortgage crisis at its center has ever been held responsible.  I have a few problems with that statement. First, who deserves the blame?  I'm not informed enough to know precisely who is responsible.  I suspect blame can be shared far and wide from the bankers and investors who concocted shaky financial instruments to  ratings agencies to regulators to the parties taking out mortgages they couldn't afford.  Did I leave anyone out? Second, it isn't true that no one has been held responsible.  There have been at least three criminal cases and a handful of civil cases brought against various individuals and institutions.  Still, in an environment where so many people are out of work with little prospect of finding sustainable employment, it is hard to feel like justice has been done when you compare the relatively few fines to the billions of dollar...

Blue jeans Grey shirts Rosemary mint shampoo White file boxes White towels and Her Brown paper Pine or pale Morning mist Bright ideas Not new Just right

Thelma was gone this evening and had Emma with her, so it was the perfect opportunity to let the boys eat food that is normally quite low on Thelma's list of approved dining options. Before driving to the high school to pick up Braeden from play practice, I asked Mark, "Would you rather have Chinese food or stop at Little Caesar's to get pizza?" Then, inspiration struck me while he was agonizing over the choice. "What about both?" I asked.  His eyes lit up and I could see he knew where I was going with this. "How about we make a Chinese pizza?" Mark started to rattle off a list of ingredients. That kid knows how to build. Usually, it's Legos. Tonight it was pizza. The original idea for a Chinese pizza came during a recent in-the-van-driving-somewhere conversation. I challenged everyone to come up with a strange pizza combination. Between Braeden and I, we imagined a combination that included General Tso chicken in some form. Braed...

miscellanea |ˌmisəˈlānēə| plural noun miscellaneous items, esp. literary compositions, that have been collected together. ❖ ❖ ❖ I'm not sure which is better: the title of the book ( "Fiction Ruined My Family" ) or the title of the book review ("Mom’s a Drunk, Dad’s a Writer: A Recipe for Disaster and a Memoir"). Memoirists impress me.  (And I'm lucky to be married to one .) It seems like an impossible feat to pull off a memoir.  First, you have to have lived an interesting life.  Second, you have to be talented enough to write about it.  Here's an excerpt where the author describes the affects of living with a father who insisted on high standards for language: I was under the impression clichés could ruin you, ruin your life, your hopes and dreams, bring down your whole operation if you didn’t watch it. They were gateway language, leading straight to a business major, a golfy marriage, needlepoint pillows that said things about your golf ...

This is day 53 of dieting and I finally fell off the wagon. I was doing so well up until this point.  There have been frustrating times.  Times when it would have been easy to bury my stress beneath a mound of flap jacks or in a giant bowl of chow mein.  Times when I could have given into the siren song of humus or the cold indulgence of ice cream.  I've stared awkwardly at fruit.  I've dreamt of chocolate lava cakes. But I had persevered until this evening.  And I have—or used to have, rather—twenty seven pounds to show for it. Cumulative Weight Loss: No one's perfect. I get that. It's just how I fell off the wagon that bothers me. I was pushed off by this guy: "Little Caesar!?  Really?  The creepy little purveyor of bad pizza?" I know.  What can I say?  He got me.  I didn't intend for it to happen. I can't believe it myself.  I've had so many opportunities to cheat.  So many better alternatives than ...

Did you happen to see this picture of the southern rock band Jeff the Brotherhood? That's Jamin on the left.  He's sporting a $1500 shirt and $1300 pants.  The cheapskate on the right is Jake whose $1400 shirt needs to be a little longer so I don't have to see his $830 pants.  Personally, if I had that kind of money to spend (and already had a wave runner), I'd get me some of Jake's hairdo. ❖ ❖ ❖ Did you happen to read the Sherlock Holmes mystery " The Adventure of the Speckled Band "?  If so, did you happen to laugh as I did when you came across this passage: "I should  be very much obliged if you would slip your revolver into your pocket....  That and a tooth-brush are, I think, all that we need." I've been trying to come up with a way to slip those sentences into casual conversation. ❖ ❖ ❖ Did you happen to read or hear about the book " Lost in Transition " in which Notre Dame professor Christian Smith sh...

In my last post, I said I'm craving "riding a wave runner until my body aches." I was speaking figuratively, but Braeden didn't get the message. As we were riding on Lake Chelan this weekend, he jumped a wave at about 30 MPH and then skipped into another one sideways. I flew off the back of the wave runner. The ensuing moments are still a bit blurry, but a few highlights stand out. After my third skip across the water I thought, "Wow. Braeden's a long way away already." After my second summersault, I was hoping that I'd tied my shorts. After four seconds or so underwater waiting for my life vest to bring me back to the surface, I realized that every part of me that could hurt did—and still does. At least it is a happy hurt.  

A list of things I'm craving: Something interesting to design A veggie sandwich on great bread that's too big to eat Chocolate chip cookies Riding a wave runner until my body aches Pizza, any shape, any quality Basketball season A solution to my landscaping dilemmas Another month of summer A way to easily hang bicycles from a 16-foot ceiling A compelling reason to use Google+

I just returned this evening from three nights of camping with Braeden and the 14-15 year old boys from our ward.  Officially, it was a high adventure.  The cliffs and trees and bridges off of which they jumped were high.  Mt. Constitution was high.  But it was probably the most laid back high adventure I've been part of.  Sun and swimming with a smattering of hiking and biking thrown in for good measure. Thankfully, the food was not a high adventure.  The boys have been well tutored in the art of camp site cooking by a series of culinary campers from Eric "Fajitas" Jorgensen to Keven "Steak and Broccoli" Jackson; and now on to Brother Jensen.  (Kudos to Brother Jensen for bringing the full compliment of condiments from for some seriously good burgers.) I've posted the pictures from the week here .  For parents who are interested, my web albums also have photos from Scout Camp 2010 and Scout Camp 2009 . I've also posted a few videos on You...

You have to check out what is going on over at The Shepherd's Watch .  I mentioned it in my last post , but it's better when you can see it in action.  Different members of the elders quorum in my ward are taking turns sharing their personal scripture study with the rest of the quorum.  What's interesting is that the idea of scripture study is extending beyond the traditional definition of scripture—the standard works of the Church—to include the words of living prophets and apostles.  It may not be the conventional definition, but it is a doctrinally sound one. I'm looking forward to the next few entries and then getting together on Sunday to discuss the exercise as a quorum.  Here are some highlights from what has been posted so far. Bill Bailey  shows how much there is to gain from reading even a few verses a night with young children who may not be able to handle much more.  Whenever I read 1 Nephi 11:31 from now on, I'll think of Bill identifyi...

I'm writing this post in response to an assignment from President Williams, the Elders's Quorum president in my ward.  He asked our quorum for a different volunteer each day this week to share insights from their personal scripture study.  I accepted the challenge for today.  My experience will be posted on our quorum blog, The Shepherd's Watch , along with experiences from other quorum members throughout the week. I wasn't sure what to study.  Usually when I study the scriptures I either read slightly ahead of where my family happens to be studying The Book of Mormon or I study something I've been asked to read by a priesthood leader.  This afternoon I decided to go with the first approach and read 2 Nephi 16 which is roughly the same as Isaiah 6. I was struck by one verse in particular which has perplexed me in the past.   2 Nephi 16:10 : Make the heart of this people fat, and make their ears heavy, and shut their eyes—lest they see with their eyes, ...

Our bones might crack this weekend in the Pacific Northwest as we experience our first real warm spell of the year.  It's raining now (which is great for my lawn), but the temperature is expected to reach the upper 70s on Saturday.  It shouldn't be a big deal, but anything over 68 qualifies as sweltering in my book. The onslaught of solar oppression has me thinking about fans and air conditioners.  Sadly, my trusted fan is on it's last leg.  For some reason, it will occasionally wait a few minutes between the time I turn it on and the time it starts to blow.  Maybe it's old and needs a breather.  Maybe it's time for me to accept that life is brutish and short and I need to move on. Thelma mocked me when we bought the fan at Costco.  I saw it one day and came home all excited to tell her about it.  It's a tower fan, so it doesn't have the hazardous legs that jump out to viscously try and trip you.  That's an important consideration for me...

Here's a collection of things that have caught my attention lately. The Dangers of Time Travel Apparently, when the Chinese authorities aren't busy funding our national debt, they're busy policing the television airwaves for unhealthy programming.  The latest danger to the Chinese population:  time travel. In "Palace", a woman travels back in time and falls in love with Qing Dynasty princes. According to the Chinese government, television shows that depict time travel "lack positive thoughts and meaning."  The broadcasting guidelines discourage these shows, pointing out that they often "casually make up myths, have monstrous and weird plots, [and] use absurd tactics."  In other words, they are too much like The Disney Channel. Personally, I think the Chinese are still mad that Bill and Ted chose to travel back in time to capture "the very excellent barbarian" Genghis Khan—the "dude who 700 years ago totally ravaged Ch...

I feel uneasy tonight. I'm not sure if I helped or was had. In what has become something of a Thursday-evening-post-basketball tradition, I drove to Walmart for some late night shopping. Two weeks ago it was new shorts and an exercise shirt. Last week it was another exercise shirt (because I liked the first one so much). This week it was new insoles and laces for my basketball shoes. (Thelma, who has thoroughly documented her distaste for shopping at Walmart has driven me to these shopping trips under the cover of night.) Approachable is not how I would have described myself as I trudged across the Walmart parking lot in my wife-beater sleeveless shirt, shorts and coordinating fleece vest. Sweaty, yes. Beleagured, perhaps. Approachable, no. But a woman did approach. Something told me to stop and wait for her. She was caught somewhere between out-of-breath and verge-of-tears. I could see she was nervous talking to me. She tripped quickly over some desperate story that I co...

The latest hidden camera exposé by a conservative crusader finds a senior NPR fundraiser saying NPR would be better off without Federal funding while disparaging Republicans and the Tea Party movement.  Combined with NPR's  firing of Juan Williams for honest but impolitic comments made on Fox News, the recent events have become the perfect fodder for the vocal chorus of NPR haters who want to see Congress cut off funding for NPR by eliminating funding for the Corporation for Public Broadcasting. The argument is simple.  NPR is a biased, left-wing media outlet subsidized by taxpayer money it doesn't deserve. The argument is also wrong. Does NPR have a liberal bias?  Speaking as someone with a conservative bias, I think they do.  So do some people working at NPR, though they might prefer the term "sensibility" instead.  But so what?  Everyone has a bias toward issues they feel are important and the things they care about.  And organizations...

What would you change if you could amend the constitution?  Would you circumscribe or maybe expand the government's role in controversial topics of the day like health care or deficit spending or owning private industry? Would you add something entirely new? (Consider President Bush and his support for a constitutional defintion of marriage.)  Would you leave the document alone and allow legislatures and courts to interpret it in light of current values and interets? (Consider President Obama's changing position on gay marriage.) Would you clarify passages and remove room for interpretation? One hundred fifty years ago, seven southern states had this chance for change when they declared their independence from the United States of America and set about adopting a new Confederate Constitution .  Given the opportunity to start from scratch, the Confederate framers chose instead to improve upon the United States Constitution.  And why not?  Part of the justifica...

I arrived home from work with just enough daylight and just enough Spring to mow the lawn.  Braeden and I reveled in the straight lines and greening blades.  "It's the awakening," he said. — I sat in the temple and smiled at the sight of Emma and Braeden sitting side by side, quiet and content.  Outside the temple, we stared up at the stained glass, the angel, the glowing walls.  I asked Emma how she felt.  "Light and airy," she replied. — Driving home from the airport, I listened to my mother describe her trip to Disneyland with Megan, Talia and Jackson.  "If your dad were still alive..." she began to say.  For the first time, I smiled and laughed instead of fighting back tears. — Awake. Light. Laugh. Alive. Again. — Everyone is asleep.  I sit down to write.  I don't cry.  I don't turn away.  It's a change.  I can write again, at last.  But it's not the same as Before.  Everything seems differ...