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New Year's Revolution

It's not exactly like making a secret wish and blowing out the birthday candles, but I've usually been hesitant to share my New Year's resolutions because experience tells me that I probably won't keep them.  

I don't like goals--or at least the discussion about goals.  Anytime someone starts going on about the importance of setting goals I feel like I'm being forced to watch an infomercial or listen to a pitch for a timeshare at Shady Meadows Family Resort and Oil Change.

For a few years I've tried to be cheeky about the whole thing.  "My New Year's resolution is to keep my New Year's resolution."  I know it's not particularly humorous, but that will teach people to ask.

This year, though, I've tried something different.  I decided to set a goal and actually try to stick to it.  I'm proud to say--now that we are more than a quarter of the way through the year--that I have managed to stick by my resolution with near perfect accuracy.

(Drum roll please.)

I have resolved to use the revolving door at work.

(And now the cymbal.)

I know it's about as noteworthy as something you'd expect a TV celebrity to tout during a public service announcement, but it's something and it has consequence.  First, I no longer feel guilty for ignoring the signs that say "please use the revolving door" as I follow the masses through the normal doors on either side of the revolving door.  Second, I can now assume a smug look on my face when the facilities groups sends out an email about the costly heating/cooling bill that comes from the perpetually open doors of a pressurized building.  Third, I no longer have to come up with convoluted rationalizations for my behavior like how I'm actually reducing the per capita energy loss per door by following someone else out.

Now, I can happily saunter into my office any old time with a mild swivel and spring in my step knowing that I'm better than everyone else.  I can even make a complete revolution or two or three if I feel like it and not worry about looking silly.  None of those other earth-killing, crowd-following, door-swinging lemmings has the courage to look me in the eye.  They can just keep on stepping and hope the door doesn't hit them on the way out.

Comments

Thelma said…
You were better than everyone else far before the revolving door thing.
Olivia Cobian said…
In college my friend Melissa and I set a manageable goal--wearing the same pair of pants for a week. We felt good about ourselves and were able to accomplish it. I wonder if it had anything to do with our lack of social life?

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