I found myself with ninety minutes to kill in Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport this afternoon while waiting for a connecting flight to Grand Forks, North Dakota. It was just enough time to learn a few valuable life lessons.
There I was facing the semicircle of food court fare. Should I have a hamburger from A&W? It would probably taste good, it would sit in my stomach like a rock and I risked special sauce or some other condiment dripping down my front. Maybe a prepared sandwhich from the cold case at the looks-like-a-Starbucks-only-more-expensive coffee stand? No. I've had the best at Pret a Manger and everything since just disappoints. What about sushi? I wan't to like it. I really do. But I don't. Besides, it brought up bad memories of a run in with a bento box last week. Pizza? Maybe in hindsight, but the little express boxes looked like they had been baking under the heat lamp a little too long.
I settled on the Chinese food. Blah. To borrow a phrase from Thelma who borrowed it from her father, it tasted like my foot was asleep. Yeah. That bad. General Tso is supposed to be spicy. Sezchuan Tofu is supposed to be spcicy. I'm supposed to be smart enough not to order the Chinese food--especially from a place named the Wok & Roll.
Rule #1: When visiting the Midwest, order the Reuben sandwich.
Rule #2: It can always get worse.
If all I have to complain about is some bland Chinese take-away, I have it pretty good. Remember good ol' Governor Mark Sanford from South Carolina? The one who told his wife he was hiking the Appalachian trail for five days only to sneek off to Argentina for a rendezvous with his soul mate? The same Mark Sanford who, according his state's House Judiciary Committee "brought ridicule and dishonor to himself, the State of South Carolina, and to its citizens"?
I was reminded of Rule #2 when I heard the following announcement come over the airport public address system:
Paging Mark Sanford. Please return to the Rock Bottom Restaurant.
Here's a tip, Mark. Order the Reuben.
Comments
I miss you.
Don't get the Chinese food. Bleck! What do Minneapolis-ites know from Chinese food anyway?