Skip to main content

Just My Luck

It's just my luck that I would pick tomorrow, the day the earth is going to implode, to take my first real vacation in who knows how long. Check out the headlines.
They're doing WHAT!

Anytime the world's top physicists feel the need to collectively cross their fingers, I start to get worried. What has physicists going to these extraordinary measures?
At roughly 3:30 a.m. Eastern time, scientists at CERN, the European Organization for Nuclear Research, say they will try to send the first beam of protons around a 17-mile-long racetrack known as the Large Hadron Collider, 300 feet underneath the Swiss-French border outside Geneva. (more)
The point of this 14 year and $8 billion experiment is to recreate the conditions that existed one trillionth of second after the Big Bang. For $8 billion, who wouldn't want to know. But here's the rub. Some people fear it may actually create a black hole that would swallow the universe.

Now, I've managed a few projects in my time. Some of them even had a decent amount of risk. But none of them threatened to end life as we know it if something went wrong. I mean, what do the project meetings sound like at CERN? Can you imagine being in the room when this came up?

Jean-Luc: The project is going well, André. Even after our last wine and cheese night, we've only spent $5 billion of our budget.

André: C'est fabuleux, Jean-Luc. How are the preparations for the experiment?

Jean-Luc: Il y a un petit problème. There is a small chance that we might destroy the earth.

André: Will our insurance cover it?

Jean-Luc: We're looking into that. If not, there is something else we can try. Emelyne over in particle relations thinks crossing our fingers might help.

I'd like to believe there is no need to worry. I want to trust in science. It's the modern thing to do.  After all, the director general of CERN insists in a press release that "any suggestion that [the collider] might present a risk is pure fiction."

But there must be something to it. CERN had an independent safety report prepared and checked out by a panel including Nobel laureates. Even physics supernova Stephen Hawking is only willing to put $100 on the experiment succeeding.

That gives me confidence. I just put down $100 on a half-day jet ski rental for Thursday. I guess Steve and I have the same level of risk tolerance.

Comments

Thelma said…
You. Crack. Me. Up.

Popular posts from this blog

Moving to Graduate School

I have been thinking a lot about my father this week. On Monday I helped Braeden and Anna move all of their belongings out of Deleward and into a moving truck bound for Woodland, CA where Braeden starts graduate school at nearby UC Davis next month. As I walked from the truck parked on 400 East across the lawn and up the stairs, my mind flashed back to 24 years earlier when I was moving out of the same apartment building, walking across the same grass, and loading up my own moving truck with the help of my dad.  Braeden was just eight months old at the time. I can still see him sitting in the grass with my dad, Thelma, and cheap-enough-that-we-could-afford-it pizza and bread sticks from Sounds Easy. It meant everything to have my dad there with me. Looking back on it I realize that Thelma was the real star. I was working right up to the very end. As with all of our moves, she did the bulk of the packing and planning. I was just the muscle. I was nervous about moving from Provo, Uta...

Craving

A list of things I'm craving: Something interesting to design A veggie sandwich on great bread that's too big to eat Chocolate chip cookies Riding a wave runner until my body aches Pizza, any shape, any quality Basketball season A solution to my landscaping dilemmas Another month of summer A way to easily hang bicycles from a 16-foot ceiling A compelling reason to use Google+

Driving East

I will wake up tomorrow morning, on Father’s Day, alone in Cheyenne without my family. I say this matter-of-factly. Designated days have only a light hold on me. An unexpected business trip that means being gone on Father’s Day? No problem. I'm not much for ceremony. More than once we have marked Father’s Day by splurging for a hotdog at Costco while filling up the minivan on a road trip. (Surely, Cheyenne has a Costco.) If I wake up emotional tomorrow morning, it's not because I'm alone on Father’s Day. It will be because of the cocktail of emotions I drank today. —— Driving across Wyoming was beautiful. Everything below the horizon looked groomed and green. The grass, the hills. the forests. A sea of green dusted with flecks of distant snowfields and antelope. (So many antelope.) Above the horizon, wild white and stormy black scratched across brilliant blue. The kind of sea and sky that softens your heart and tricks your mind.  I pulled off the highway at Little America f...