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Deepening our Conversion by Remembering

For the past month or so my mind has been drawn to the words of a popular hymn. “So trusting my all to thy tender care, and knowing thou lovest me, I’ll do thy will with a heart sincere. I’ll be what you want me to be.”

Even as I feel overwhelmed by the gap between what I am now and what he wants me to be, especially in my new calling, I also remember experiences that show me his tender care and give me a reservoir of lessons to draw upon.

I’ve been thinking a lot about when I was 24 years old. Thelma and I had just moved across the country to Connecticut where I was starting graduate school. Within a few months I was called as an assistant stake clerk. I asked President Openshaw, who extended the calling, what my responsibilities would be and he said the stake presidency wasn’t sure yet. But he went on to explain the specific revelation they had received in calling me. That meant a lot to me then to know that God was mindful of me and that President Openshaw would take the time to express that, but it means even more to me now as I try to extend callings to others following the same pattern.

The stake president would occasionally invite me into his office to just listen as they held presidency meetings. I remember watching those three men counsel and reason and pray together in seeking to understand the Lord’s will. It was interesting to watch then. It means even more to me now as I try to follow the same pattern with Bishop Hill and Brother Davis.

I bring up these personal stories because they are evidence to me that I can trust my all to the Lord’s tender care and know that he loves me because he has given me experiences in the past that mercifully prepare me for the present. Conversion requires that type of trust because conversion requires turning ourselves over to the Savior.

Remembering helps us deepen our conversion to Jesus Christ because it provides us with the evidence or faith we need to put our trust in him more fully. In moments of joy, remembering can help reveal the guiding hand of the Lord in our life that has prepared us for our present blessings. In moments of sorrow, remembering can bring solace and resolve to overcome our trials knowing through experience that we haven’t been abandoned. As we identify the Lord’s hand and mercy in our past, we can have confidence in the future.

Sometimes deepening our conversion requires us to remember more than just our own experiences.

When Alma the Younger and the sons of Mosiah were confronted by an angel because of their wickedness, the angel gave Alma two distinct commandments. Typically, we only talk about the second commandment. “And now I say unto thee, Alma, go thy way, and seek to destroy the church no more.” What was the first commandment the angel gave Alma? We don’t talk about it as often. I even checked the illustrated Book of Mormon stories. It’s not in there, but it may be more important for us because the principle is more relevant.

“Now I say unto thee: Go, and remember the captivity of thy fathers… and remember how great things he has done for them; for they were in bondage, and he has delivered them.”

It is interesting that years later, when Alma is giving a sermon to the church members in Zarahemla about conversion and deepening our conversion, he never once mentions his experience with the angel. But he does mention the first commandments the angel gave him about remembering, He started his sermon with these questions:

“Have you sufficiently retained in remembrance the captivity of your fathers? Yea, and have you sufficiently retained in remembrance his mercy and long-suffering towards them? And moreover, have ye sufficiently retained in remembrance that he has delivered their souls?”

As important as it is to learn from our own life experiences, our lives are an incomplete textbook. They don’t contain the full range of lessons and experiences we need. In fact, they only contain the lessons we’ve already had (or need to have again), not the additional lessons we need to really change who we are. To deepen our conversion, we also need the strength that comes from remembering the lessons taught in the scriptures and by living prophets.

Above all else, true conversion requires us to remember the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ. I have sometimes thought of what Simon Peter must have gone through in the hours just before and after the Savior was crucified. I’ve wondered where he went. What he did. I’ve tried to imagine what I would have done or felt in those moments of loss and darkness. I suspect that at some point Peter would have fallen to his knees and poured his soul out in prayer. What would he have said? What would I say? I’m not sure, but I can hear fragments in my mind that resemble the sacrament prayer.

Oh, God, my eternal father. I ask thee in the name of thy son, Jesus Christ, to send me His spirit to comfort me. Help me to keep the commandments he gave me. Help me to always remember him.
It doesn’t matter that the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ happened in the future for Nephi and Isaiah or that it happened in the past for us. It can be present in our hearts and minds when we partake of the sacrament and deepen our conversion by remembering.

Experienced members of the priest quorum will usually tell new priests that the easier prayer to say is the prayer for the water because it is shorter. We make four separate promises when we participate in the sacrament ordinance. We make the first three promises when we partake of the bread. We promise that we are willing to take upon us the name of Jesus Christ, that we are willing to always remember him, and that we are willing to keep his commandments. The promise we make when we partake of the water is different. Instead of just being willing to remember the Savior, we promise that we DO always remember him.

So, it may be easier to say the sacrament prayer for the water, but it’s much harder to live up to the promise we make in it. I don’t always remember him. But I am willing. And I do try. And every week that the sacrament is offered, I’m going to try again. And I am going to thank God that each of us will stand to be judged of him according to our works AND the desires of our hearts.

As we prepare the earth for the second coming of Jesus Christ, the prophet Malachi tells us that the promises of the Lord are extended to those who are converted to his ways and always remember him. Speaking of our day, the prophet said:

“Then they that feared the Lord spake often one to another, and the Lord hearkened and heard; and a book of remembrance was written before him for them that feared the Lord, and that thought upon his name. And they shall be mine, saith the Lord of Hosts, in that day when I make up my jewels; and I will spare them as a man spareth his own son that serveth him.” (Malachi 3:16-17)

I’m mindful however, of that one son, the Only Begotten Son, who was not spared; who endured the full punishment of the law so that we could enjoy the full blessings of mercy on conditions of repentance.

We deepen our conversion to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ when we remember the Lord’s tender care in our life; when we remember how great things the Lord has done for our fathers; and when we remember the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ, especially when we regularly partake of the sacrament. As we are willing and do always remember him, we will become like him. We will follow his example by ministering as he would. We will be more able to fully exercise the power of the priesthood in the work of salvation. And we will return to his presence, fully converted, as begotten sons and daughters unto God.

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